spirituality

Path Of The Highly Sensitive Person


Everyone has some kind of sensitivity, even if it’s the tiniest thing. However, when you’ve grown up with so many sensitivities and you are constantly feeling overwhelmed with everyday life, you might think something is wrong with you. The paths of the sensitive folks, who have struggled with their sensitivities, from what I’ve read and heard, have many similarities. The struggle of being different and feeling deeply gets too much, chronic illness prevails and you try to fix it. At some point you discover that you are a highly sensitive person and you feel relieved and get that ‘ohh, that explains so much’ moment. You see it as a curse until you find another like you who is saying that it doesn’t have to be. You discover a new mindset, a new way of nuturing yourself and loving yourself that allows you to bloom. You become elated, happy and free and your sensitivities become a spectacular gift. You are so lucky to experience your sensitivities. Every moment you are experiencing these amazing gifts. Let me know if you are on a similar path. 

It’s only through connecting with other HSPs, mainly through the Internet, that we can continue helping each other along our paths.

journal

Acceptance + Ascension // Journal Entry #2

I’m sat on my sofa with the curtains drawn on a Friday morning and I’ve just started my three day weekend. I have Netflix on the TV as I didn’t want to turn it off whilst writing and it’s distracting but I don’t really care. I just knocked my glass off the stool for the second time this week. It was funnier the first time but I still don’t mind. These past few days have been different. I’ve felt this air around me for the first time in a while and I’m really fucking happy.

It’s 10.51 am and I haven’t showered and I’m no where near ready to leave my house. I just opened the door for my dog and breathed in the most satisfying air. I was met with a grey sky against a dark green field and it was beautiful. I always thought that I wanted the sky to be blue and the sun to be out always because I felt happier and more energetic that way. It’s as if, in my mind, I had decided that I couldn’t be happy unless the weather was ‘perfect,’ but what the fuck is perfect. I never realised that it was my mind that has been feeding me this depressed fucked up shit this entire time. I’ve only just understood why people swear. Sometimes there are no other words that convey strong feelings. As I was saying, I have been trapped in a depressed mindset for far too long.

I went on holiday hoping that it would make every thing okay again. A couple of days later, I found myself miserable crying to my partner, on a bench in Jersey, about how it’s not okay that I still feel this way. I don’t even know where this came from but I now believe it was from years of stress, or what I like to call my entire life. Okay that’s not completely true, but it’s effective and reveals the contrast between then and now. After a long period of stress, depression often results. I was waking up every day and checking to see if I was still depressed. Now I wake up every day wondering what good the day has in store for me. The difference is indescribable. If you are depressed, give it a try. It’s a little tip from a course I’ve been doing.

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Right, back to the holiday. A day later I spent some time on Plemont Beach reading the letting go chapter from the book, ‘The Untethered Soul.’ It’s a wonderful book. After the time I spent in nature with Carl, the walking we did, reading that chapter and being in the present, things started looking up. Exercise is something I want to keep up, but for now I have decided to take up yoga at home, and not just at my weekly class and I am already seeing benefits. I spend a lot of time in nature anyway but I’d love to spend more time with Carl so I’m making the most of the time we do have together. The biggest challenge for me on holiday, was also the thing that kicked me up the butt towards a different mindset. I used the law of attraction for the first time and it revealed something amazing to me. After the challenge was presented and I saw what it meant, I wrote a few pages on this for my book so I’m not going to ruin that by posting it here. I will say that I am amazed that it actually works. I had some doubts but I decided to fully act on it and the outcome was life changing. Really embracing the way I feel is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

After a truly beautiful holiday, I had to return home. My emotions were being tipped over the edge by raging hormones but I probably would have still felt the same. Being a highly sensitive person, I find transition more of a challenge than others. I sat on the sofa all day, crying that my life was not a holiday. Wow does that sound like I’m selfish and ungrateful but I’m writing you my true feelings. I have nothing to hide. I had the holiday blues, post holiday depression or whatever you want to call it. A couple of days later I went to yoga and left feeling a lot more free. You see, freedom is what I craved. I wanted to be free to experience more amazing things and I thought that I had to be travelling to do this. All I really needed to free was my fear. If you are comfortable with the outcome, fear cannot touch you. We are tiny beings on a small planet spinning around a ball of explosions, in a vast universe and we are afraid of being afraid.

I came home expecting things to be different right away but they weren’t. A small part of me feared going home to that same life. I felt as though I was just going back to where I was. However, I realised that I am never going backwards. Growth is my reason for living, my purpose. Surely, growth is the reason we all live. What else can we do but live and grow?

One of my thoughts that my depressed mind created to torment me was that life was not worth living because of suffering. I Googled the hell out of it but everything I saw confirmed it. I was suffering so there was no point. There was just so much crap whizzing through my head that I truly believed. Now I’m out from that place, I can see clearly that my negativity was creating more negativity. Depression actually lets you believe things that are not true. It swallows everything that is good and punches you internally until you are ready to grow from it. It was trying to tell me something. My life was how I perceived it and it didn’t need to be this way. It could be different if I just accepted it. I stopped believing that I didn’t want to exist anymore and I am now living because what else am I meant to do with this life? Life is for living.

I am still here on my sofa reflecting over the past few days. I have really enjoyed the conversations I’ve had. Opening up to people isn’t easy when you are closed off but once I opened up my heart to everything I stop feeling that discomfort. I am still a little fearful because I know I won’t always feel this good in every moment but I’ve learned to accept that fear and to accept that discomfort, as it can only do me good. From here, I can only ascend.

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journal · Lifestyle

Living In This Crazy, Crazy World // My Journal #1

I have been having a lot of random thoughts and I find it hard to bring them all together but here I am trying.

Society is the collective of those are living and those who lived before us, setting out guidelines and setting out standards of how we should live or however you see it. It can be a gift, a disaster or, for most of us, somewhere in between.

When I logged onto my computer this morning, I saw hate and negativity everywhere. I couldn’t even twist a tiny bit of it into something positive. It made me think a lot about how society works and how we are so influenced. How where we live, where we are from, our gender, sex, income, beliefs and opinions separate us all, but our building blocks, humanity and how we are all part of this crazy, crazy world make us all the same

Opinions are what drives our differences. An opinion that associates a particular group of people with negativity, only drives more negativity. It also drives more opposition. Hate literally breeds hate – it’s positive feedback in anthropogenic form. I can see how it happens, clearly, and that’s what worries me the most. How do I even come to terms with reality when it literally is creating a storm? I am having a hard time accepting it.

I searched for hope, for others with the opinions of mine and felt saved when I found many. It’s so understandable why people turn to hate. Fear is at the base of it all. Ultimately all of these negative bases drive more negativity, more division and more hatred. I am blessed to be living this life that I have. Although, I am exposed to the Internet, where I see a lot of negativity, I can make this connection and I can see that I live a life full of privilege. I can chose to be positive as it is a choice. I can switch off my computer, go outside and feel the air on my face, the sun through my eyes and the sounds of the birds. I can do what makes me feel alive. I can inspire others to see the light and to not feed the hate. That’s all and it’s not enough, but maybe it is for today.

I’ve never felt like a part of society and wanted to run away from it, but I have realised that we are all part of it. Every single person on this planet plays their part in it. So I can’t blame it for anything. However, I’d like to remain on the edge of it, with my far ‘leftist’ views. I hate that word. What’s worse is that I deeply believe that everyone has the right to their own opinion, even if I despise it. It physically taunts me to hear the opinions of other people who think the complete opposite to me, even though I understand that everyone is different and it wouldn’t work if we were all the same and so on. Blah blah blah. Seeing both sides makes it harder.

To save my self from a mental breakdown, I am going to completely switch off from other people’s opinions today, do some yoga, breathe in some fresh air and be present in myself. I’m so sensitive that I need some time to process as writing can only do so much for me right now.

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S/N: Have you ever experienced this? When something awful happens and you are just sat by yourself and everything is so peaceful because it’s over and it’s just you and nothing can change that.

spirituality

What We Are


How come it’s so easy for us humans to see our differences? More so than it is to see our similarities. We are all made from the same material and the same way, literally from star dust. We are the universe as much as everything else is. Why can’t you see it? The vastness beyond the surface. The deep layers of who we really are. We have this amazing ability to see beyond the reality we are taught. We are told to perceive it a certain way. We are told it is wrong to show sympathy for certain people. We are told it is wrong to be a certain way and so we punish ourselves internally. The only way you can know what is really right is by looking within because everything we have and need is inside ourselves. Stop listening to other people and start listen to yourself fully. Once you do this, your reality starts to change in amazing ways. I really wish this would have been drilled into us as kids and not the bs that only benefits society ☮️.

Lifestyle · Mind · spirituality

10 Recent Realisations

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It’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post. There’s a reason for that. I guess it’s partly a lack of motivation but right now I’m putting more effort into writing my book, making things and writing nice things for my Instagram posts (sarahnityxo if you are interested). I have discovered my love for writing poetry. I like how disordered it can be. It doesn’t need to rhyme and it doesn’t need to make perfect sense. I like how I can put my feelings into a few lines and somehow it just works. I also like taking photos for it and editing them.

I’ve come to some realisations recently and I want to share them.

  1. I’m not that much of a great writer. I enjoy it but I have a lot to learn and so I am.
  2. Struggle is there for a reason. To help us grow.
  3. Meditation can be done (almost) anywhere, like on a train.
  4. There is a little path down to the lake that I have wanted to go towards for years and it is wonderful down there.
  5. I have to nuture my spiritual side in order for me to feel fulfilled in life.
  6. London still continues to delight and excite me. Camden Town is amazing.
  7. Making new friends and connecting with people you just click with is more important than focusing on those you don’t.
  8. Positive feelings can be almost as overwhelming as negative ones.
  9. I won’t be able to exercise unless I actually do! It’s literally one of the biggest challenges to get myself to do any!
  10. Working is more enjoyable when I focus on other parts of it such as connecting with people.
poetry · spirituality

I Am Her

Note: this art is not mine, it is a print from Claire Michelle @plantifulsoul

I am constantly changing,

Growing, evolving and opening up,

Towards more abundance, gratitude and love,

Making peace with my inner critic,

And believing my true self,

For she is the one that holds the power,

And she is the one that carries me safely,

To a place without greed, judgement or chaos,

She is my passion, my essence and my truth,

I now know what I must do,

To connect with her for eternity,

I must love her.

Mind · spirituality

When I Called For More It Appeared // The Law Of Attraction

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It took me a while for me to understand the law of attraction because really I needed to feel it to believe it. Basically, it’s a way to manifest your desires and what you truly want out of life.

It’s about taking limiting negative beliefs away, thinking about what you do want and taking the necessary steps to get there.

Thoughts become feelings and feelings become things. You won’t get what you want if:

You don’t love yourself
You make up excuses
You constantly put yourself down
You don’t live in abundance
You think you are lacking

I wanted more out of life. I was pretty unhappy. Not long after, I had watched some videos on the law of attraction and manifesting dreams because I wanted to do that. Manifest my dreams. Amazing things started to happen. My heart felt full and my mind experienced clarity for the first time in my entire life. That feeling hasn’t stopped. My life begun to have purpose because I was giving it purpose.

I am opening up to my spiritual side. The side had locked away. I am allowing myself to feel everything. I am allowing myself to feel happy.

A while ago I said that I was writing a book. I was lost at first but I have now found my way. I hope to have it done by this summer so watch this space. As always, thank you all for being here. I am so grateful to you all.

Lifestyle · Mind · spirituality

Abundance And Fulfilment

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It’s been a while, I know.

I’ve been going through some kind of transformation. You see, when you get into a dark place one of two things happen. You either continue to spiral downwards until you see no reason to live or you search for a small flicker and slowly climb towards it until it fills up your being.

I chose the latter.

Winter is a bad time for me. I get pretty low. As we draw further away from it, so does my mind. It’s metaphorical for me. It helps lift the strain that chains down my body in the cold and dark corner of my cage. I saw that light. It was a firefly and it asked me to follow it.

I gave in to my emotions. I gave in what I truly wanted, after searching for so long. Out of pain and struggle comes amazing growth. After giving into the divine, my inner voice spoke. It told me to write. To write everything that I had been holding on to. That I can write the book that I have wanted to for months. Lines of clarity and pureness spilled out from my heart, through my veins, unleashed out of my nerve endings at my fingertips and appeared delicately in front of me. Words blanketed empty spaces and I began to feel whole. A fulfilment that has called out for me like a baby crying for it’s mother.

My writing is well under way now.

Thanks for those who have stuck by me during this time. I appreciate and love you all so much. My ultimate dream is to feel abundance and fulfilment. I want that for you to in whatever way you desire. Nameste. x

poetry · spirituality

High Rise

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So I’m listening to this song called High Rise by Cross Record then I figured that I better get moving and get ready for the day.

Then I have this thought.

How can I do that?

Go from listening to an amazingly artful song full of haunting beauty and deep perfection that hits every note of my soulful mind and just get up, get dressed, brush my hair and, by doing that, enter a plain, monotonous and ordinary existence.

How does one not live without experiencing these moments that touch the very being of pureness and ecstasy?

How can one not experience these amazing encounters that make every atom in your body vibrate on a higher plane of existence?

I can feel it.

Every single piece of my body is opening up to listen and experience an elite paradise.

It needs to do this in order to feel alive.

Yet I feel a deep sadness in this moment for those who will never feel like this in all of their existence.

For one amazing spirit lifting high, there are one hundred gut wrenching lows, ripping me into depression, that all still seem to have a silent, immensely dark beauty that no one will truly understand but me. 

Art doesn’t need an explanation. It’s power is deadly yet so alive. It unleashes inspiration and opens up an eye that I don’t see through without it. One that sees the world differently, through a thousand new perspectives. I’ve still got to get up and do normal things to stop the overwhelm from completely defeating me. But, how can I?

Mind · spirituality

The Best Ways To Recharge // Introvert, HSP, Empath

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Everyone needs to recharge in some way but everyone has a different cut off point, in regards to stimulation, that they can take before they break down. Highly sensitive people have a much lower level than most people, introverts also have a lower level but this does apply to everyone in some way. Too much stimulation can mean different things to different people. To me it means being around people, conflict and negative or strong emotions of others, loud noises, bright lights and generally a lot of things going on at once. There is so much stimulation at work that I like to spend the weekends recharging. I work 12 hour shifts so it is really important that I give myself some time away to do what I enjoy in order to allow myself to feel happiness.

If I don’t recharge, stress and anxiety builds, negative thoughts build and I become depressed or experience strong unwanted emotions. I know in order to balance my emotions I need to take care of myself and put myself first otherwise my life is a constant struggle and it affects other people as well as myself.

It’s important for me to set boundaries and this is something I am still working on. Here’s is a list of some of the things that I avoid:

  • Going somewhere other than home after work – social events are a definite no after a really long day
  • Arranging a holiday where I constantly have to be around people all day and night
  • Spending time around toxic/negative people as much as possible
  • Violent movies
  • Spending the whole weekend out
  • Planning to go out when I know I won’t have had enough time to recharge
  • Crowds – in large doses

Here’s some things I do to recharge and you could do them too:

  1. Spending time with family who I find easy to be around
  2. Spending time with my partner and with my dog
  3. Keeping the house tidy – I tidy on the first day I have off work which makes me have a better weekend
  4. Having candlelit baths with essential oils, incense and a book
  5. Taking photographs/video/writing/some other creative pursuit
  6. Walks in nature
  7. Yoga – in particular taking a class
  8. Meditation
  9. Reading in bed at the end of the day
  10. Watering my plants
  11. Cycling
  12. Watching something really good on Netflix – current favourite is Gilmore Girls
  13. Being idle
  14. Watching videos on Youtube
  15. Reading blogs
  16. Creating videos and blog posts
  17. Playing music – whatever I feel like

What do you like to do to recharge?