How come it’s so easy for us humans to see our differences? More so than it is to see our similarities. We are all made from the same material and the same way, literally from star dust. We are the universe as much as everything else is. Why can’t you see it? The vastness beyond the surface. The deep layers of who we really are. We have this amazing ability to see beyond the reality we are taught. We are told to perceive it a certain way. We are told it is wrong to show sympathy for certain people. We are told it is wrong to be a certain way and so we punish ourselves internally. The only way you can know what is really right is by looking within because everything we have and need is inside ourselves. Stop listening to other people and start listen to yourself fully. Once you do this, your reality starts to change in amazing ways. I really wish this would have been drilled into us as kids and not the bs that only benefits society ☮️.
It’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post. There’s a reason for that. I guess it’s partly a lack of motivation but right now I’m putting more effort into writing my book, making things and writing nice things for my Instagram posts (sarahnityxo if you are interested). I have discovered my love for writing poetry. I like how disordered it can be. It doesn’t need to rhyme and it doesn’t need to make perfect sense. I like how I can put my feelings into a few lines and somehow it just works. I also like taking photos for it and editing them.
I’ve come to some realisations recently and I want to share them.
- I’m not that much of a great writer. I enjoy it but I have a lot to learn and so I am.
- Struggle is there for a reason. To help us grow.
- Meditation can be done (almost) anywhere, like on a train.
- There is a little path down to the lake that I have wanted to go towards for years and it is wonderful down there.
- I have to nuture my spiritual side in order for me to feel fulfilled in life.
- London still continues to delight and excite me. Camden Town is amazing.
- Making new friends and connecting with people you just click with is more important than focusing on those you don’t.
- Positive feelings can be almost as overwhelming as negative ones.
- I won’t be able to exercise unless I actually do! It’s literally one of the biggest challenges to get myself to do any!
- Working is more enjoyable when I focus on other parts of it such as connecting with people.
I am constantly changing,
Growing, evolving and opening up,
Towards more abundance, gratitude and love,
Making peace with my inner critic,
And believing my true self,
For she is the one that holds the power,
And she is the one that carries me safely,
To a place without greed, judgement or chaos,
She is my passion, my essence and my truth,
I now know what I must do,
To connect with her for eternity,
I must love her.
It took me a while for me to understand the law of attraction because really I needed to feel it to believe it. Basically, it’s a way to manifest your desires and what you truly want out of life.
It’s about taking limiting negative beliefs away, thinking about what you do want and taking the necessary steps to get there.
Thoughts become feelings and feelings become things. You won’t get what you want if:
You don’t love yourself
You make up excuses
You constantly put yourself down
You don’t live in abundance
You think you are lacking
I wanted more out of life. I was pretty unhappy. Not long after, I had watched some videos on the law of attraction and manifesting dreams because I wanted to do that. Manifest my dreams. Amazing things started to happen. My heart felt full and my mind experienced clarity for the first time in my entire life. That feeling hasn’t stopped. My life begun to have purpose because I was giving it purpose.
I am opening up to my spiritual side. The side had locked away. I am allowing myself to feel everything. I am allowing myself to feel happy.
A while ago I said that I was writing a book. I was lost at first but I have now found my way. I hope to have it done by this summer so watch this space. As always, thank you all for being here. I am so grateful to you all.
It’s been a while, I know.
I’ve been going through some kind of transformation. You see, when you get into a dark place one of two things happen. You either continue to spiral downwards until you see no reason to live or you search for a small flicker and slowly climb towards it until it fills up your being.
I chose the latter.
Winter is a bad time for me. I get pretty low. As we draw further away from it, so does my mind. It’s metaphorical for me. It helps lift the strain that chains down my body in the cold and dark corner of my cage. I saw that light. It was a firefly and it asked me to follow it.
I gave in to my emotions. I gave in what I truly wanted, after searching for so long. Out of pain and struggle comes amazing growth. After giving into the divine, my inner voice spoke. It told me to write. To write everything that I had been holding on to. That I can write the book that I have wanted to for months. Lines of clarity and pureness spilled out from my heart, through my veins, unleashed out of my nerve endings at my fingertips and appeared delicately in front of me. Words blanketed empty spaces and I began to feel whole. A fulfilment that has called out for me like a baby crying for it’s mother.
My writing is well under way now.
Thanks for those who have stuck by me during this time. I appreciate and love you all so much. My ultimate dream is to feel abundance and fulfilment. I want that for you to in whatever way you desire. Nameste. x
So I’m listening to this song called High Rise by Cross Record then I figured that I better get moving and get ready for the day.
Then I have this thought.
How can I do that?
Go from listening to an amazingly artful song full of haunting beauty and deep perfection that hits every note of my soulful mind and just get up, get dressed, brush my hair and, by doing that, enter a plain, monotonous and ordinary existence.
How does one not live without experiencing these moments that touch the very being of pureness and ecstasy?
How can one not experience these amazing encounters that make every atom in your body vibrate on a higher plane of existence?
I can feel it.
Every single piece of my body is opening up to listen and experience an elite paradise.
It needs to do this in order to feel alive.
Yet I feel a deep sadness in this moment for those who will never feel like this in all of their existence.
For one amazing spirit lifting high, there are one hundred gut wrenching lows, ripping me into depression, that all still seem to have a silent, immensely dark beauty that no one will truly understand but me.
Art doesn’t need an explanation. It’s power is deadly yet so alive. It unleashes inspiration and opens up an eye that I don’t see through without it. One that sees the world differently, through a thousand new perspectives. I’ve still got to get up and do normal things to stop the overwhelm from completely defeating me. But, how can I?
Everyone needs to recharge in some way but everyone has a different cut off point, in regards to stimulation, that they can take before they break down. Highly sensitive people have a much lower level than most people, introverts also have a lower level but this does apply to everyone in some way. Too much stimulation can mean different things to different people. To me it means being around people, conflict and negative or strong emotions of others, loud noises, bright lights and generally a lot of things going on at once. There is so much stimulation at work that I like to spend the weekends recharging. I work 12 hour shifts so it is really important that I give myself some time away to do what I enjoy in order to allow myself to feel happiness.
If I don’t recharge, stress and anxiety builds, negative thoughts build and I become depressed or experience strong unwanted emotions. I know in order to balance my emotions I need to take care of myself and put myself first otherwise my life is a constant struggle and it affects other people as well as myself.
It’s important for me to set boundaries and this is something I am still working on. Here’s is a list of some of the things that I avoid:
- Going somewhere other than home after work – social events are a definite no after a really long day
- Arranging a holiday where I constantly have to be around people all day and night
- Spending time around toxic/negative people as much as possible
- Violent movies
- Spending the whole weekend out
- Planning to go out when I know I won’t have had enough time to recharge
- Crowds – in large doses
Here’s some things I do to recharge and you could do them too:
- Spending time with family who I find easy to be around
- Spending time with my partner and with my dog
- Keeping the house tidy – I tidy on the first day I have off work which makes me have a better weekend
- Having candlelit baths with essential oils, incense and a book
- Taking photographs/video/writing/some other creative pursuit
- Walks in nature
- Yoga – in particular taking a class
- Reading in bed at the end of the day
- Watering my plants
- Watching something really good on Netflix – current favourite is Gilmore Girls
- Being idle
- Watching videos on Youtube
- Reading blogs
- Creating videos and blog posts
- Playing music – whatever I feel like
What do you like to do to recharge?