For as long as I remember I have allowed fear to control my life. A few years ago I wouldn’t even leave the safety of the house unless I had to. I wouldn’t interact with people unless I had to or unless I trusted them. I couldn’t walk down the street without having to turn back after 200 yards, feeling like the air was pinching my skin and the ground was going to pull me over. Going to public places alone was too intense and exhausting. I would cry and cry and wonder why my life was so hard. I was paralysed by my own self worth. I hated being me. I had hidden my internal thoughts and feelings for so long that they had manifested into mental and physical pain. I became ill and abused myself, and for what? For not wanting to be me. But who else could I be? I didn’t want people to see who I really was. I didn’t honour my sensitivity or my feelings and needs. My intuition was bruised and I had weaved negativity deep into my veins. Somewhere along the way, I had enough and I began untangling the mess inside my head. I reached out to others and I started nurturing myself in anyway that I needed. I practiced gratitude and self care. I took up yoga and meditation. I started to eat better. I started writing poetry on my Instagram and I started a blog and I begun voicing my feelings out to the world. Then others began to hear what I had to say and by doing that I was honouring who I truly was. I discovered an amazing internal world that I was proud of and I wanted to share it. I unstrapped my inner child and embraced her. I set myself free.
Taken from my Instagram. Follow me: @sarahnityxo
Everyone’s experience of life is different but we all have things we hold onto. Here’s a few tips I have gathered and learned through my years from within and from others. Yeah I learned a lot in therapy. Yeah I like sharing stuff and helping others and as I have gotten a lot from other people, online and offline, I want to give something back. Anxiety and depression got really bad for me because I was too busy focusing on the past and how that will affect my future but I have been on a journey to release me of these struggles and accept who I am now.
No numbers today, I’m just going to jump right into the good stuff in order to help set yourself free!
Make a timeline
Like the ones you used to do in school. Draw a line down a blank piece of paper or open up paint on your laptop. Whatever format is up to you and you can make it fun and be creative. It doesn’t have to all be serious. Write the year you were born at one end and today at the other end. Write down all of the good things that happened to you in the top half and all the bad things at the bottom. OK you might not fit them all on there but just set yourself an allotted amount of time or just write until you’ve filled the page. As you write you will remember more and more things. There’s no point in me giving you examples as it is your life. Really think whether something had a good or a bad impact on your life. Some things might go onto the centre line.
Next, have a look at your completed timeline. Remember all the things that you have written and think about them for a while. Then have a look at how many bad things there are compared to how many good things there are. You might be surprised. Focus on your accomplishments. All the great things that you have experienced.
Speak to a councellor
This one’s obvious. If you can go to a therapist I’d recommend it a thousand times. It can be a really uplifting experience. If you decide to go, take your timeline with you! They often make links that you cannot see for yourself and help to boost your esteem.
Experience gratitude and abundance
Be thankful for what you have now. One way you can experience gratitude is by living a minimalistic life. Go backpacking in developing countries. Keep a gratitude journal. Go a week without a phone or a laptop. Volunteer to look after those in need. There are so many ways you can experience gratitude and even the simplest things are beneficial and will make you a better person. Realise what you have now would not have happened if it wasn’t for what happened in the past.
Stop being a victim
I can’t stress this one enough. If you keep blaming others for what happened, you will never be able to accept it and move on. It was out of your control. It’s happened and if you keep thinking, ‘it’s because my Mum hit me as a kid,’ or whatever it is, then you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself for the past and start living in the now. It’s not happening right now, it’s over. Stop playing the victim card.
Realise that thoughts are beliefs
Beliefs only happen because of recurring thoughts. Thoughts are not real. They do not control you – you control them. Learn to be mindful and watch your thoughts. There’s so much about mindfulness on the internet and in books that I’m not going to write anything about it here.
Self care and self love
Give yourself time to do the things you enjoy. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be like someone else. Be you, love you and look after yourself first. You can’t look after anyone else if you’re not taken care of yourself.
Today is a new day. Fill it with love and give yourself what you need to shine!