Haunting Nights

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Beating drum beats out of beat,

Causing crashing, crying, collapsing,

Innocent in the bunk below,

I am her protector with the remote control,

Chucking up drunk in the darkness,

Fingertips scratching in my ears,

If only they could understand,

Their sounds are more than just a whisper,

Implanting Arthur’s sword into old wounds,

Alone I cry, alone I cry.

 

Stillness of morning is eerily calming,

Black scars laid down flat,

Arms wrapped around my glasses,

As another knot on my belt is added.

10 Recent Realisations

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It’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post. There’s a reason for that. I guess it’s partly a lack of motivation but right now I’m putting more effort into writing my book, making things and writing nice things for my Instagram posts (sarahnityxo if you are interested). I have discovered my love for writing poetry. I like how disordered it can be. It doesn’t need to rhyme and it doesn’t need to make perfect sense. I like how I can put my feelings into a few lines and somehow it just works. I also like taking photos for it and editing them.

I’ve come to some realisations recently and I want to share them.

  1. I’m not that much of a great writer. I enjoy it but I have a lot to learn and so I am.
  2. Struggle is there for a reason. To help us grow.
  3. Meditation can be done (almost) anywhere, like on a train.
  4. There is a little path down to the lake that I have wanted to go towards for years and it is wonderful down there.
  5. I have to nuture my spiritual side in order for me to feel fulfilled in life.
  6. London still continues to delight and excite me. Camden Town is amazing.
  7. Making new friends and connecting with people you just click with is more important than focusing on those you don’t.
  8. Positive feelings can be almost as overwhelming as negative ones.
  9. I won’t be able to exercise unless I actually do! It’s literally one of the biggest challenges to get myself to do any!
  10. Working is more enjoyable when I focus on other parts of it such as connecting with people.

I Am Her

Note: this art is not mine, it is a print from Claire Michelle @plantifulsoul


I am constantly changing,

Growing, evolving and opening up,

Towards more abundance, gratitude and love,

Making peace with my inner critic,

And believing my true self,

For she is the one that holds the power,

And she is the one that carries me safely,

To a place without greed, judgement or chaos,

She is my passion, my essence and my truth,

I now know what I must do,

To connect with her for eternity,

I must love her.

When I Called For More It Appeared // The Law Of Attraction

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It took me a while for me to understand the law of attraction because really I needed to feel it to believe it. Basically, it’s a way to manifest your desires and what you truly want out of life.

It’s about taking limiting negative beliefs away, thinking about what you do want and taking the necessary steps to get there.

Thoughts become feelings and feelings become things. You won’t get what you want if:

You don’t love yourself
You make up excuses
You constantly put yourself down
You don’t live in abundance
You think you are lacking

I wanted more out of life. I was pretty unhappy. Not long after, I had watched some videos on the law of attraction and manifesting dreams because I wanted to do that. Manifest my dreams. Amazing things started to happen. My heart felt full and my mind experienced clarity for the first time in my entire life. That feeling hasn’t stopped. My life begun to have purpose because I was giving it purpose.

I am opening up to my spiritual side. The side had locked away. I am allowing myself to feel everything. I am allowing myself to feel happy.

A while ago I said that I was writing a book. I was lost at first but I have now found my way. I hope to have it done by this summer so watch this space. As always, thank you all for being here. I am so grateful to you all.

Abundance And Fulfilment

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It’s been a while, I know.

I’ve been going through some kind of transformation. You see, when you get into a dark place one of two things happen. You either continue to spiral downwards until you see no reason to live or you search for a small flicker and slowly climb towards it until it fills up your being.

I chose the latter.

Winter is a bad time for me. I get pretty low. As we draw further away from it, so does my mind. It’s metaphorical for me. It helps lift the strain that chains down my body in the cold and dark corner of my cage. I saw that light. It was a firefly and it asked me to follow it.

I gave in to my emotions. I gave in what I truly wanted, after searching for so long. Out of pain and struggle comes amazing growth. After giving into the divine, my inner voice spoke. It told me to write. To write everything that I had been holding on to. That I can write the book that I have wanted to for months. Lines of clarity and pureness spilled out from my heart, through my veins, unleashed out of my nerve endings at my fingertips and appeared delicately in front of me. Words blanketed empty spaces and I began to feel whole. A fulfilment that has called out for me like a baby crying for it’s mother.

My writing is well under way now.

Thanks for those who have stuck by me during this time. I appreciate and love you all so much. My ultimate dream is to feel abundance and fulfilment. I want that for you to in whatever way you desire. Nameste. x

Happiness In The Small Things


I was in a certain shop today, which was hosting an everything-must-go sale. I was amazed at the prices of the books. Most of them were £2 to £4! I grabbed six books on yoga, meditation and mindfulness and headed to the counter before I picked up any more. I waited a couple of minutes for the lady in front to pay and then stepped up to the desk. The assistant’s hand was extended to me and in it was a 20% off voucher. I was unsure what she was doing with it as she wasn’t looking in my direction. ‘Here, take it,’ she whispered and I saw her eyes darting around, making sure that no one was looking. I took the voucher, unsure of what to make of the situation. My thoughts immediately went to wondering if it was legal. Is this some form of stealing, I wondered. I always run through my values when making a decision prior to an action. The assistant read out the total amount to be just over £13. I asked for a carrier bag and she said she wasn’t going to charge me for it. I was astonished. I had paid a very little amount for quite a few books and hadn’t been charged 5p for the carrier bag. I said, ‘thank you very much,’ and left. On reflection, I believe the assistant gave me the extra amount out off of kindness. I received another voucher which will definitely be spent. I walked out with a smile on my face that warmed me up for hours. It’s still making me feel happy now, just thinking about it. It has made my day.

So, I will repay this lady by passing on the small act of kindness to another and hopefully they, or you, will be inspired to do the same. You could make someone’s day turn from bad to good just by helping them out. Kindness is one of the most valuable gifts you can give. 

Twenty-Third Day Of Blogmas // Farewell 

I’m really tired today! Just one more day until I am off work. Every year when it comes around I wish I wasn’t working this week so next year I will take a whole week off. I’d much rather be at home watching Christmas movies than working my butt off just to get done a little earlier.

I don’t like the couple of days before Christmas when I’m working and I don’t like how much I really want it to be Christmas Day. Time just seems to get slower on these last two days! Gah!

I’m sorry that I don’t have anything interesting to say today. After work tomorrow I am having to drive my sister home, which takes 45 minutes one way, so I’m going to be shattered and not available to write a blog post. Therefore, this will be my last Blogmas post. Thankfully, that is. It hasn’t been all bad but I’ve definitely lost sleep because of it.

I wish you health and happiness and a very merry Christmas!