I’ve always felt like I’ve never wanted to live the life that everyone else seems to live and why should I? I’m me and they are them. Growing up, everyone seemed to have the same lives. They all lived with brothers and sisters, in three bedrooms houses, with two parents and a rabbit. They would go to school, eat chocolate spread sandwiches for lunch, play in the streets after school and go home and repeat. They would grow up, make lots of friends, go out with lots of people, spend Friday evenings drinking in the park. Then they would go to college, get a job, soon get married and have children. Then someone would press repeat and life would just continue the same for their children.
I’ve never wanted that life. I’ve never felt like I fitted in to that life. The simple life that these people chose to live was not what I dreamed of. I’ve always wanted more. I’ve always wanted meaning and purpose and not to live in a cycle that never progresses.
The cycle will end with me. I might never have children because I don’t want that life. It’s not a selfish decision to not want them. To have no desire to bring life into this world is as normal a feeling as feeling sad or happy to me.
I don’t know what any of this means but I only question it to find a purpose. My purpose. I’ve made a lot of changes to my life this year and it’s all for the better. All to better myself, those around me, the Earth and the animals that we share it with.
Do what you want. Be free.
For anyone that may be interested I have been wanting to write this post for about three weeks but I didn’t know how to without putting anger into it. I was listening to these two songs today which gave me inspiration:
Hanging On by Active Child
Weightless by Marconi Union